With kind permission of my friend Eric Taimanglo, I'm reposting his article here.
Self Defense Case Study: Parking Lot Argument
by Eric Taimanglo
I was listening to the radio while driving one day and happened
across a survey where the DJ was asking callers to share what made them
angry. A woman answered and related how lack of manners were her pet
peeve. She then went on to tell a story about an encounter with a local
lout in a parking lot.
Apparently, she was returning to her vehicle, with her children in
tow. She opened the car door and accidentally made contact with the
vehicle in the space next to her. According to the caller, there was no
damage to the vehicle. The man came out and became verbally
belligerent. She said she apologized, but the man continued to berate
her, asking her how would she feel if someone banged her vehicle by
careless opening of a car door. At this point she became defensive and
said that it wouldn't be much of a problem, as she drove a (insert
derogatory name for less than aesthetically pleasing vehicle). She
wound the energy up further, scolding him for being so verbally abusive
in front of her children. It all ended with no physical contact, save
for the supposed "tap" on the man's car, and both parties went about the
rest of their day.
Some might say that she was in the right. She apologized, but the
man wouldn't accept it and kept going down his mouthy route. How dare
this man launch verbal attacks on her in front of her children.
Civilized people accept apologies, why couldn't this man do the same?
In my opinion, there are no such things as rights. If you find this
hard to believe, please look up a place called Pyongyang, or better yet,
Libya. We all have our own little worlds organized and packaged to fit
our perceptions. We have to, otherwise we wouldn't get anything done.
However, a lot of us have the tendency to clutch too tightly to our
parceled ways, so much that we don't realize that there are other
people, with other ways, some of which are very different from our own.
To assume that the world will conform to our ways is, well, rather
foolish.
